The Girl Who Came To Stay
by L.M.MadHatter
Summary: Songfic, Snape reflects on his relationship with the woman he loves


Is there anybody going to listen to my story  
  
All about the girl who came to stay?  
  
She's the kind of girl  
  
you want so much it make you sorry  
  
Still you don't regret a single day  
  
Ah, girl, Girl, Girl  
  
Severus Snape sat in his leather chair and looked deep into the fire. The red wine in his glass was slowly sinking in volume and the heat seeping into his veins proved he had been the one to consume it, not that anyone else was around to drink it with him anymore. The one person who used to share moments like this with him had finally been forced out by his own pessimism. He never believed that he was good enough for her and it ultimately left him alone when she gave up trying to prove his worth to him.  
  
When I think of all the times  
  
I tried so hard to leave her  
  
She will turn to me and start to cry  
  
And she promises the earth to me  
  
and I believe her  
  
After all this time I don't know why  
  
Ah, girl, girl, girl  
  
He remembered the first time that he had tried to push her away for her own good. She was getting herself into far more than she realized in those days, the days before the fall of Voldemort when anyone who loved him or whom he loved was in such desperate danger that he dared not even think about traveling down that road with anyone. She came to him in her seventh year, she had just turned 18 and her apparently deeply buried feelings for him were finally able to be brought to light, to him in any case.  
  
When she came to him at the Halloween Ball and asked him to dance he refused her thinking it was just another set up to get to the all feared, all hated Potions Master. She, however, was very insistent and when he turned down the dance she asked him for a walk around the lake, finding an easy out of the party that he hadn't want to attend in the first place he had agreed. He had never expected what was coming next.  
  
Once they were outside in the open air and strolling casually around the lake he brought up the topic of her future and was surprised to find her unwilling to discuss it. It was always rather easy to get the girl to talk about her studies and what she was planning next in that regard. Her lack of enthusiasm caught him off guard and he stopped on the spot not knowing how to continue with her. She stopped as well and looked up at him with her rich brown eyes; she looked lost in a way that he had never seen before.  
  
The look of concern must not have been as well hidden as he had thought it was because she suddenly looked away. That was when he did the unthinkable, gently cupping her chin in his hand and turning it up to his face to once again stare into her eyes. He asked if she was alright and was thrown off balance once again at her reaction as she rose the few inches of the gap between their faces and pressed a sweet and rather innocent kiss onto his lips. It was over as soon as it had begun and he was left with a feeling he had never before experienced in his chest, a warm excitement he couldn't explain if he had purchase of all the words in the English language.  
  
She hadn't run afterwards, didn't move at all. She stood there watching him, waiting for his reaction, his reprimand, his rant on how inappropriate her actions were and it never came. Instead she was treated to another chaste kiss, this time initiated by him, followed in turn by a less chaste and far more expressive kiss that neither of them would ever forget. That night was the first and only time such a thing happened while she was still under his care as a student.  
  
He had taken her as an apprentice after her 7th year, she had approached him with her plans to continue on in potions just before the Christmas holidays and asked if he would be willing to allow her to study under him. He was pleased that someone of her skill and intellect would consider pursuing his area of expertise even after his foul treatment of the students through the years.  
  
Their relationship developed into more than master and apprentice through the hours in the potions lab a mutual respect was established and in his office going through possible combinations for new and more astounding creations that he had never even dreamed of before he realized he was beginning to see this woman as more than just his student, she was now his equal. He would only ever let her just so close though before pushing her away even further than before when his paranoia crept up on him again. She had become frustrated with him and one day she laid it on the table for him, literally.  
  
She had come into the lab prepared to seduce him and it had worked. She was under his skin and he couldn't think of a better place for her. He loved her more than he had ever loved anything in his life but he would never have admitted it to himself at that time, never mind filling her in on his feelings and risking having his heart trampled upon in this new place he had never been before. He allowed her into his life, into his bed, into his heart and then pushed her away again when his guilt over his past was thrown back in his face. She deserved better, didn't she know this!? How could she not understand his need to allow her to achieve better than he could ever give her?  
  
Was she told when she was young  
  
that pain would lead to pleasure  
  
Did she understand it when they said  
  
That a man must break his back  
  
to earn his day of leisure?  
  
Will she still believe it when he's dead  
  
Ah, girl, girl, girl  
  
Girl  
  
This vicious cycle of allowing her in and pushing her back out continued for several years until one day he pushed her too far. She had been gone for two weeks now, the longest she had ever left him alone since the end of her 7th year. He was left alone to contemplate his own life, from the early days of torture at home, to his days as a Death Eater, to his time at Hogwarts. He could never remember being as happy as he had been when he was with her. His heart broke when he realized that he had lost her for good without ever telling her how much he truly loved her. If he had told her maybe she would still be there with him. Maybe she would have loved him too, maybe she had loved him and he didn't want to accept it. His whole life had come down to what ifs.  
  
He was still questioning his cursed life when he heard the door open through the fog in his brain. His head lifted to see who it was; only three people had ready access to his private chambers, Albus, Minerva, and her. As his eyes took in the sight in front of him, his heart almost leapt out of his chest; she had returned to him. The tears started down his face before he could contemplate what was truly happening. She walked over to his chair and wiped his tears from his cheek before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to it. As he looked into her eyes he knew he wouldn't let her go again.  
  
"I love you, Hermione," he had finally said those four little words she had needed to hear for so long. He had finally admitted it to himself in their time apart and saying them aloud was all it took to prove that she hadn't needed to look anywhere else for all she would ever need.  
  
"I love you too." That was all it took and all that had been left unsaid these past years. He loved her and she loved him in return. The entire world was at peace in Severus' mind that night and the next morning when he woke up with his arms still around her as she slept peacefully he knew that everything would be fine from then on. 


End file.
